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UFOs
Elusive flying machines thought to be piloted by extraterrestrials and generally confined in their earthly encounters to areas where Private Eye is considered a literary magazine. |
Underachiever
Upper-middle-class euphemism for 'hopeless', applied to those mildly embarrassing offspring who would rather become Taoist monks than investment bankers or dermatologists. |
Underclass
A chronically unfortunate segment of the population thought to lack all useful skills, except for a prodigious ability to increase its numbers. |
Underdog
1. A dachshund, corgi or chihuahua. 2. A seriously disadvantaged combatant, like a bespectacled chiropodist in a boxing ring, who invariably gains the inner fortitude and moral support required to become the overdog - at least in the minds of Hollywood screenwriters. |
Underground Press
Collective term for those scruffy crusading publications that exist in a time warp where all the calendars have been stopped at 1969. Such periodicals typically cater to environmentally committed left-wing holistic vegetarian backpackers living in solar-heated wigwams, which explains why their circulations rarely approach that of, say, Brewing & Distilling International. |
Unemployment
The usual alternative to overwork. A full-time job that depletes energy and morale even more effectively than one's former occupation. |
Uniforms
Lookalike apparel (e.g., football jerseys, army khaki, monks' robes and business suits) donned by team players so as to minimize whatever remains of their former identities. |
Union
An exclusive club for manual labourers, esp. those with well-placed in-laws. Formerly the socialist underbelly of the capitalist economy; now notable for having transformed burly blue-collar workers into staunch conservatives with a patch of lawn to keep impeccably trimmed and weeded. |
Unwed Mother
One who helps perpetuate the genes of an unwed father, without the latter's talent for becoming invisible at will. A condition that sinks poor women deeper into poverty, while unwed mothers who happen to be celebrities tend to grow even more bankable. |
Upmarket
Belonging or catering to a clientele that generally exercises more discrimination in buying coffee beans than in selecting a mate. |
