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Stand-up Comic
Personal essayist for the postliterate era; a glib and audacious fellow who must lie about his experiences in a manner that generates repetitive convulsive spasms in the diaphragms of his patrons. |
Star
A performer who makes more than his or her agent. Also: Superstar A performer who makes more than the Guatemalan GNP. |
Stately Homes
Popular theme parks operated by well-bred paupers. |
State-of-the-Art
Soon-to-be-obsolete. |
Status Symbol
The right car, wristwatch, dog or polo shirt; any esteemed possession worn as a badge of superiority so that the wearer will not be forced to prove such status in a test of wits or character. |
Stereotype
A shoe designed to fit all feet within a particular ethnic or social group. When the shoe actually fits, as it sometimes will, the satisfied salesmen exchange sly winks across the room. |
Sterile
Incapable of generating life, like a man with a vasectomy or any building in a suburban office complex. |
Steroids
Illicit hormones used by do-or-die athletes to pump themselves up until they burst; a latter-day version of Faust's bargain with the Devil, who delivers the victories but eventually comes to collect a bigger trophy. |
Stigma
A moral tattoo that used to be etched on to unwed mothers and other wayward types, effectively deterring others from the same path until tattoos become fashionable. |
Stock Market
A popular game of chance in which moneyed speculators gamble with the nation's economy, the object being to amass as much unearned income as possible before one's fellow gamblers withdraw from the game and precipitate a nationwide depression. |
