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Schizophrenia
Not the proverbial split personality, but a long retreat from life's battles and unpleasantness into a shadow-world where the trees have ears, and dogs recite Hiawatha in a Swedish accent; considered pathological except among modern poets and performance artists, in whom it may be regarded as the norm. |
School
A refuge for small fry; growing children, minnows or minor artists with interchangeable styles. |
Science Fiction
Fairy tales for nerds. |
Secular Humanism
The belief that man created such wondrous works as instant mash and insect repellent without divine intervention, and therefore deserves to be revered as a god; a view hotly disputed by fundamentalists, who insist that only a wise and beneficent Providence could have inspired the invention of hair gel. |
Segregation (U.S.)
In an earlier era, the government enforcement of that which now occurs naturally at golf tournaments and hip-hop concerts. |
Self-esteem
Contentment with one's virtues and limitations; a blessed state that perpetually eludes those who chase after it. The dangling carrot that drives the self-help industry. |
Self-help
An American industry founded on the premise that most people are miserable being themselves and would gladly pay any number of authors, psychologists and mountebanks who hold out the promise of becoming somebody else. |
Semiotics
The philosophical study of signs and symbols; Latin for 'Sounds impressive but we're just putting you on, folks.' Yet another lofty Eurodiscipline created for the express purpose of gratifying academic poseurs in turtlenecks. |
Senility
The pleasantly rueful experience of forgetting what we've forgotten; a cleansing of the mental blackboard shortly before class is dismissed. |
Sensitivity Training
An incubator from which fledgling touchy-feelies are released into society |
