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Sado-masochism
The employment of chains, handcuffs, whips, blindfolds, bedposts and/or Nazi uniforms as instruments of love. |
Sailing
An aqueous pastime pursued by men of means who relish the prospect of being blown out to sea on a Sunday afternoon. Also an obscure Anglo-Saxon dialect spoken by such hobbyists, consisting largely of phrases like 'Hoist the thwizzlejib' and 'Squinch the starboard squallnoggin'. |
Salad Bar
A sunny smorgasbord of fresh leafy vegetables, legumes, raw fungi and other low-calorie treats designed to pacify perpetual dieters, who promptly anoint their selections with dollops of creamy blue cheese dressing. |
Salary
A market value assigned to professionals as a function of their scarcity, their usefulness to employers and their ability to feign enthusiasm for their work. |
Sale
An opportunity to spend £125 on a £125 coat whose retail price has temporarily been jacked to £200. |
Salivation
The involuntary physiological response of Pavlov's dogs to the dinner bell, an investment banker to a company ripe for takeover, or a fundamentalist preacher to an unsaved sinner. |
Salvation
That which spares a vulnerable soul the discomfort of the fiery pit so that it may endure an eternity of harp music. |
Sanitation Worker
The title conferred on dustmen when they started earning more than public-school teachers. |
Santa Claus
The rotund, red-suited gentleman who embodies all that is magical and good, and whose inevitable demise drives many of his young mourners into lifelong careers as cynics. |
Satanism
Rooting for the Evil One simply because his team has taken a late-inning lead. A dark, sacrificial cult frequently practised by bored and secretive teenagers; somewhat less popular among the chickens, children and household pets whose body parts are used in their rituals. |
