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Obesity
An overabundance of lard carried about the human frame; a condition particularly common among unfashionable folks too emotionally secure to waste their lives dieting. |
Obituary
A final summation of our lives that, for most of us, occupies about three inches of space in what will shortly become cage liner for our neighbour's parakeet. |
Office
A clean, functional, brightly lit cell inhabited five days a week by diligent souls who forfeit their lives to make a living. |
Office Politics
A system of secret alliances, treacherous intrigues, backstabbings and petty rivalries designed to relieve the tedium of corporate life. The chief legacy of Byzantine civilization in the Western world, appropriately modified for our times; instead of blinding or maiming one's rivals, one simply mutilates their egos. |
Oil
The flammable liquid residue of fossilized prehistoric plants and beasts, found to be suitable for fuelling engines and Middle East conflicts. |
Old-boy Network
Male bonding for profit, esp. as practised by former school chums and their cronies. Not to be confused with male prostitution. |
Organ Donor
Someone who looks forward to being outlived by his liver. |
Organically Grown
Nurtured on animal excreta for greater appeal to environmentally correct consumers. |
Orgasm
The punchline some women just don't get, generally because their mates have a tendency to rush through the joke. Other women pretend to get it, and still others demand to hear it again and again. |
Ostracism
The systematic shunning of one who defies the taboos of an in-group, as practised by the ancient Athenians, the Amish, and modern academic literary circles, esp. when a fellow scholar confesses to an admiration of Benny Hill. |
