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Market Share
A coveted slice of a pie with green paper filling; the size of the slice varies as a product quashes the competition or is quashed in return. |
Marriage
A contract by which a free individual willingly enters into a state of bondage. |
Martial Arts
A family of Asiatic self-defence disciplines consisting largely of sweeping ornamental gestures of the arms and legs; amusing to look at but disappointingly ineffective when one's opponent is armed with a semi-automatic. |
Martini
A noxious mixed beverage that used to be consumed over lunch by urban executives so they could take leave of their senses sufficiently to transact business. Today's cool predators require no artificial stimulants. |
Masterpiece
The latest opus by a commercially successful author or film-maker, esp. as proclaimed by shrewd reviewers who like to see themselves quoted in national ad campaigns. |
M.B.A.
Bearer of a degree untainted by the musty odour of great books, and therefore held in high esteem throughout the business world; usually hired to help convert thriving entrepreneurial companies into starchy bureaucracies. |
M.D.
A skilled mechanic who reaps vast sums in frequently futile attempts to repair defective parts. |
Media Mogul
A great octopus capable of winding its tentacles around profitable performers and publications thousands of miles away; also known to make quick getaways in a cloud of ink. |
Melancholy
The lyrical depression of a romantic, who used to find grace in suffering, and poignancy in unfulfilled longing. A major source of poetry since the invention of writing; an irrelevant emotion since the invention of Prozac. |
Meltdown
The point at which a deteriorating nuclear reactor, society or postal worker poses an immediate threat to humanity. |
