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Leisure
The pleasant span of about fifteen minutes remaining to us after we recover from the ravages of the workday and before we nod off in our favourite chair. |
Lesbian
Quaint euphemism for a woman who resists the intrusion of a man into her private affairs but concurs with his taste in sex partners. |
Leveraged Buyout
The gobbling of a big fish, often by a little fish with borrowed jaws. |
Liberal
One who tolerates all beliefs and opinions except those with which he disagrees; a benevolent soul who advocates progressive measures for the sake of people with whom he would never associate. |
Life Expectancy
The span of years remaining before half the people our age are missing and presumed dead, possibly including ourselves. |
Life Sentence
A bad career or a case of male-pattern baldness; also a prison term often commuted to a decade or so, suggesting that the 'life' in question has been converted into dog-years for the convenience of the convict. |
Lift
A tiny room that ascends or descends at the whim of its occupants, who listen in rapt silence as pleasantly embalmed pop tunes anaesthetize their souls. |
Lingerie
Gossamer garments for the boudoir, designed not to be worn so much as removed. The amount of time / the garment stays on the wearer varies inversely with the amount of body surface b revealed by the garment, so that t = 1/b. |
Liposuction
A blubberectomy performed on those beyond hope of dieting; a surgical procedure that enables the patient to shed pounds profusely from the waistline and the wallet. |
Liver Spots
The treason of the epidermis, revealing to the curious onlooker what dyed hair and face-lifts have attempted in vain to conceal. |
