Jalapeno
A potent Tex-Mex chilli pepper that, if chomped boldly and rapidly enough, can for a few memorable seconds cause us to forget our woes, along with our name and postcode. |
Jargon
The prideful slang of the insider; an elaborate verbal disguise for commonplace ideas, used liberally to befuddle outsiders, secure the wink of approval from one's colleagues, and artificially inflate the stature of every profession from management to mortuary science. |
Jazz
The musical language of glib twentieth-century urban sophisticates, created by the children of suffering nineteenth-century rural slaves. |
Jeans
Lower half of the international uniform of youth, the upper half being the zits. |
Jet Set
Gypsies with money; a cosmopolitan clique of travelling hedonists who cultivate glamour at the expense of character. The university in-crowd on a global scale. |
Job
A state of employment everyone wants but few look forward to on a Monday morning; a demanding mate that frequently kills those who cannot love it. |
Jogger
Member of an ascetic cult given to public displays of self-abuse in city parks and along suburban thoroughfares; recognized by their monotonous low-stepping gait, expensive running shoes, visible disdain for mere pedestrians, and a tendency to keel over unexpectedly while celebrating their faith in their own endurance. |
Junk Food
Cheap, satisfying, flavoursome victuals used as a substitute for real food and consisting mainly of salt, fat and sugar, deep-fried to bring out their full atherosclerotic potential. |
Junk Mail
A tidal wave of printed offers received with interest by approximately 2 per cent of the target audience, which provides small consolation to the 98 per cent of the trees that gave their lives in vain. |
Junkie
An addict who spends inordinate amounts of money over a lifetime to support a habit like golfing, playing the lottery, eating cheese curls or collecting antique chamberpots. |
Jury
A panel of amateurs called upon to decide life-or-death matters in court. |
