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Graffiti
Urban scrawl; the rude calligraphy of the streets, apt to embellish any wall, statue, tube train or wino within reach of a spray can. Reassuring evidence that today's youth retain a passing acquaintance with the written word. |
Greasers
Slick-haired teenage boulevardiers whose genially barbaric souls found perfect expression in chrome-encrusted motorbikes and doo-wop music. Flourished as a distinct subspecies c. 1955-1963, after which date the hair of adolescent males rapidly migrated south. |
Greatness
Traditionally the highest calling of a restless ego; an inner fire that would burn brilliantly in the service of humanity. What formerly expressed itself through art or statesmanship now finds fulfilment by producing dog-food commercials or masterminding hostile corporate takeovers. |
Greed
Stuffing a dozen assorted chocolates into one's mouth simultaneously, in the presence of a diabetic. |
Greenhouse Effect
A purported global warming that threatens to melt the polar icecaps, flood all cities at sea level and turn the Isle of Wight into a tropical resort. |
Groupies
The self-abasing attendants of a more powerful personage, like the concubines of a rock star or the campaign staff of a rising politician. |
Group Therapy
A drama-in-the-round stage for the entertainment of a professional therapist, who commands the players to put on a new show each week and charges them for the privilege. |
Guerrilla Warfare
A rude modern mode of back-country combat that preserves all the traditional miseries of war (e.g., serious injury, death, destruction of property) with none of the benefits (glory, decisive victories, spiffy uniforms). |
Guilt
The uninvited creature perched on our shoulder, chiding us in an uncanny impression of our mother's voice; a sharp remorse that plagues conscientious citizens after a breach of morality or diet, permitting only the scoundrels and skinny folks to forge ahead with their accustomed glee. |
Gun Control
In the U.S. an ongoing public debate that might easily be resolved if the government allowed everyone to obtain firearms but suspended the production of bullets. |
Guru
A self-proclaimed wise man and baby-sitter for the lost children of affluent families; one whose perpetual smile betokens a private joy in fuzzy thinking, freedom from work, and the attentions of nubile waifs. |
