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Gifted Children
Unfortunate tykes who lack the good sense to hide their talents from overly ambitious parents. |
Glibness
The uncanny ability of certain higher primates to issue a steady stream of words without the aid of conscious thought; considered an essential skill among political candidates and other comedians. |
God
Founder, chairman and CEO of the universe: an invisible boss who readily promotes His more aggressive underlings but has the infinite wisdom to keep them unhappy; neither has He demonstrated undue sympathy towards the meek and the infirm. Has maintained a low profile in recent centuries, apparently preferring to delegate moral authority to military panjandrums, belligerent backwoods preachers, blow-dried TV personalities, politically correct faculty members and other assorted upstarts. The supreme mystery of the ages. |
Golden Oldies
Rock music of ancient vintage (aged at least five years), resurrected from the dead and no longer seeming quite so hideous when compared with the current offerings. |
Golden Parachute
A lump-sum fortune awarded to a fired corporate chieftain, presumably because his departure causes company profits to take a sharp upward turn. |
Golf
The art of driving hard, avoiding the rough, surmounting traps and hazards, aiming straight, and arriving on the green at last, only to end up in a hole in the ground before your companions. The favoured pastime of businessmen and their cronies, probably without a full appreciation of its metaphorical implications. |
Gore
The spilled contents of a broken human body; always a showstopper at the movies and cause of massive traffic hold-ups at accident sites as inquisitive motorists crane their necks for the possibility of a free glimpse. |
Gossip
Water-cooler journalism. |
Gourmet
A food fetishist; one for whom the correct preparation and consumption of a cheese souffte has assumed the combined importance of art, science and Holy Communion. |
Graduate Student
A newborn intellect that returns to the womb for further incubation, sometimes indefinitely. |
