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Exhumation
Disturbing the beauty sleep of an old rotter. |
Existentialism
A French school of philosophy popular for a time during the 1950s and 1960s; taught its adherents how to wear a black turtleneck, dangle a cigarette from the lips and strike just the correct pose of dour worldliness - all useful tools for seducing female graduate students over coffee. |
Exorcism
Expulsion of the vile demons that hold us in thrall, generally accomplished through medieval rituals and, on rare occasions, psychoanalysis. |
Expatriate
The probable status of this lexicographer following the probable reception of this dictionary. |
Experience
In the working world, something you can't get unless you've already got it, in which case you probably don't want any more of it. |
Experiment
The fine art of fudging scientific data so that they mesh with one's original hypothesis. |
Experts
Heavily credentialled soothsayers whose advice carries the stamp of unassailable authority, like the nutritionists of our youth who told us to gorge ourselves on whole milk and red meat. |
Exploitation
Subjugation of the desperate by the overly energetic. |
Extinction
The end of the line for creatures that cannot or will not adapt to an increasingly hostile environment, which is why the future belongs to cockroaches and M.B.A.s |
Extortion
The forced surrender of one's lunch money as a tolerable alternative to something even less pleasant: a thrashing by the playground bully, a one-way car ride with the mob or an audit by the Inland Revenue. |
