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Consultant
A jobless person who shows executives how to work. |
Consumer
One who delights advertisers by acquiring unnecessary products in accordance with the motto 'I spend, therefore I am.' |
Contact Lenses
Elf-sized eyewear notable for providing the benefits of glasses without the unsightly frames, and for sharpening one's powers of detection when dropped onto a high-pile carpet or lush green lawn. |
Contraceptive
A pill or gadget that enables a couple to savour the mirth without the birth. |
Convenience Store
A profitable mini-market, so named because it conveniently spares armed robbers the trouble of engineering a heist at the local bank. |
Converts
Gullible individuals who have agreed to let an outside contractor renovate their souls. |
Cool
Sufficiently smug, careless and inarticulate to gain leadership status in adolescent society. Syn.: HOT |
Coping
Late twentieth-century substitute for living. An abnormal tolerance for the intolerable. |
Corporate Culture
The group mentality to which a company hireling must conform or die; not, as one might expect, a reference to in-house drama workshops, chamber ensembles or Great Books discussion groups. One of the supreme oxymorons of our time. |
Corporation
A miniature totalitarian state governed by a hierarchy of unelected officials who take a dim view of individualism, free speech, equality and eggheads. The backbone of all Western democracies. |
