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Class
A gently noble demeanour that used to be associated with good breeding but now invites a steady stream of wisecracks on TV sitcoms. |
Class Reunion
A periodic gathering of elderly adolescents, promising a wistful glimpse of our first love, an opportunity to resurrect ancient banter with old cronies, and the joy of discovering who has failed more miserably or aged more absurdly than we have. |
Classical Music
Celestial vibrations from the human soul, notable in our era for being non-existent for the first time since the late Middle Ages. Evidence that such music once existed still may be discovered in an occasional record store, usually in a single bin sequestered somewhere in a back aisle next to the bouzouki albums. |
Clergyman
The official custodian of a religious congregation's ancient tribal beliefs, appointed so that the members can leave spiritual matters to a qualified professional while they go about the business of sinning and making a living. |
Clique
A group of insiders who greet outsiders with their backsides; a closed circle of asses. |
Clone
Identical offspring produced by means of asexual reproduction; explains the proliferation of fast-food restaurants, suburban housing and local TV news presenters on the American scene. |
Club
1. In current parlance, a dark den to which young people repair under cover of night, where they gyrate to state-of-the-art music, display their state-of-the-art hairdos and affect a carefully practised state-of-the-art attitude that will endear them to their peers. 2. Less modishly, an association of students with a common interest in minerals or philately. |
Coal Miner
A heroic labouring man who toils a lifetime in Hades and risks an early demise so that his children might do the same. |
Coast, The (U.S.)
Where creative types sell their souls for a beach house with a Jacuzzi, unlike their eastern compatriots, who are known to sell theirs for a good table at Elaine's in New York. |
Cocaine
The recreational drug of choice for the Smart Young People of the post-Vietnam era, who found it daring and glamorous to sniff the pulverized leaves of a Bolivian shrub. |
