Cynical Activities - S
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SNOWBOARDING
Snowboarding accidents can lead to injuries of the wrist, shoulder, head, face, chest, abdomen, and spine. If global warming does exist, though, you won't have to worry about this for long. |
SOAP
Half of all hand soaps contain antibacterials. They brag about this in the ads, but what they don't tell you is that antibacterials can promote the emergence of bacteria that are resistant to antibiotics. ("Gee, honey! Let's buy the soap that means our grandchildren will die of diseases that haven't killed anyone outside the Third World in fifty years!") |
SOCCER, PLAYING
Through heading the ball or suffering concussions, soccer players are at risk of chronic traumatic brain injury, leading to impaired performance in memory and planning functions. (In some soccer players it can be hard to tell the difference, but scientists use special equipment.) Soccer players also suffer from knee conditions such as chondromalacia, and can suffer later in life from osteoarthritis. |
SOFTBALL BATS
And our final nomination for the Elvis Award for Least Dignified Way to Die: in May 1999, forty-five thousand softball bats were recalled when the tops began to shear off, posing a danger of injury to batters and bystanders. |
SOFT DRINKS
Active teenage girls who drink carbonated beverages are much more likely to break bones. Consumption of soft drinks is also associated with obesity, tooth decay, heart disease, kidney stones, caffeine addiction, and the risk of osteoporosis later in life, and the caffeine in some soft drinks can increase the risk of miscarriages. (These studies took a while, because they had to go to an isolated Island off Papua New Guinea to find a control group.) |
SOOT
Looks like Mary Poppins was wrong: a sweep isn't as lucky as lucky can be. Soot has been linked to cancer, respiratory illness, and the premature death of fifty thousand people from illness each year, as well as being responsible for 15 to 30 percent of global warming. |
SORE THROATS
Strep throats in children can cause obsessive-compulsive or tic disorders. The real problem here is that, with little kids, when one kid catches something, so does the whole class.... |
SOUTH, THE
People who live in some southern states are more likely to pay high health insurance premiums or have no health insurance; they suffer from excessive rates of disease and receive poor-quality medical care. Women in the rural South have a particularly great risk of death from heart disease, especially in the lower Mississippi Valley—heart disease experts call it Coronary Valley. People in the South are most likely to die of strokes after release from hospital. Plus, global warming is going to cause rising sea levels and storm surges, which will threaten human coastal development and natural ecosystems. |
SOUTH CAROLINA
South Carolina is the third most unhealthy state in the U.S. On the other hand, the odds are pretty good you don't live there anyway. |
SOYA BEANS
If you eat a diet high in soya beans while you're pregnant, your child may suffer long-term developmental damage. (So how has Japan made it this far?) |
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