Cynical Activities - N
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NEVADA
Nevada is the sixth most unhealthy state in the U.S. (and it's not just because of Fallon). But most of the residents seem to be willing to take their chances. |
NEW ORLEANS
Over a ten-year period, New Orleans had the third highest murder rate among large American cities. It's also the fourth fattest city in America. Every now and then, someone yells, "Yo, big mama!" once too often... |
NEW YEAR
A study in Australia found that the highest incidence of dog bites requiring hospital admission was on New Year's Day. It didn't say whether this was linked to the way Australians sound singing "Auld Lang Syne" after eight or nine pints. |
NEW YORK
If this was ever funny, it isn't any more: New York attracts crazies the way a flower attracts bees. It has also been called the nation's asthma capital (among other, less flattering things) and has the highest number of deaths of any city as a result of pollution from power plants. New Yorkers were the first in the U.S. to contract West Nile viral encephalitis. Plus, there's no place to park your car. Now that the Internet lets you work from anyplace, what are you still doing there? |
NOISE
Noise pollution is getting worse everywhere. This damages your hearing (and hearing impairment is now the most prevalent irreversible occupational hazard in the world); it interferes with verbal communication; it disturbs your sleep, leading to increased blood pressure, changes in respiration, cardiac arrhythmia, fatigue, and depressed mood; and it causes psychophysiological, mental health, and performance effects. Anyone who has ever lived next door to a bunch of students, a paranoid dog, or a drummer knows exactly what we mean. Cut out this entry so you can show it to your defense attorney later on. |
NORMAN, OKLAHOMA
Norman was designated "2001 Tourism Community of the Year," but you visiting tourists (both of you) might want to stick with bottled water. Norman is one of America's leading cities in terms of the degree to which its drinking water is contaminated by arsenic, which can cause cancer of the liver, bladder, lungs, kidney, and prostate. |
NOSE-BLOWING
Blowing your nose can propel mucus into your sinuses, which can make your cold worse and increase the risk of bacterial infection. Tell your date this to explain why you're letting your nose run; we're sure she'll understand. |
NOSES
Noses harbor staphylococcus aureus, a bacterium that causes food poisoning as well as some of the most serious infections that hospital patients get. If you ask your friendly neighborhood deranged person, the one with the tinfoil hat, he will explain to you, with gestures, exactly how to protect yourself against your nose. |
NURSE, BEING A
And now, the less romantic side of Florence Nightingale: nurses risk exposure to blood-borne diseases including hepatitis B,hepatitis C, AIDS, HTLV-I, HTLV-II, malaria, syphilis, babesiosis (this is when they turn into babes), brucellosis, leptospirosis, arboviral infections, relapsing fever, Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease (this is when they turn into mad cows), and viral hemorrhagic fever. They also may suffer from contact allergic dermatitis as a result of contact with latex gloves or substances such as antimicrobials, formalin, and benzocaine. You have to admit, they have a point when they say they're underpaid. |
NURSES
Well, most of them are underpaid. There are a few out there who may not deserve a raise just yet. Since 1995, at least 1,720 hospital patients have died and 9,548 others have been injured in the U.S. due to mistakes made by registered nurses. |
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