Cynical Activities - G
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GLOBAL WARMING
According to some politicians, global warming is a myth. Just the same, that myth is going to increase disease and death all over the world as a result of heat waves, respiratory problems, drowning, hurricanes, starvation, and the spread of infectious diseases ranging from malaria to dengue fever, but keep telling yourself it's not really happening. Agriculture will become impossible in some areas, and many of the world's forests will die, but don't worry, that'll just be your imagination. More than half of the terrestrial habitat may be lost in some areas, and up to 20 percent of local species of plants and animals may be forced into extinction, but we won't miss them, right? Allergies may increase, because there will be more ragweed pollen in the air, but remind yourself it's only a myth that you're sneezing. Some parts of the world are likely to become uninsurable but hey, anyone rich enough to matter has plenty of property in the other parts. It's already starting: polar bears are in trouble because the sea ice on which they hunt for food is disappearing; the Antarctic's emperor penguin population has fallen by half; Australia's Great Barrier Reef is experiencing "bleaching" that hints at its eventual destruction; and global warming has been blamed for a sharp worldwide decline in the numbers of frogs, toads, and salamanders but who needs them anyway? |
GO-CARTS
An average of 10,500 people, mostly children, are treated in U.S. emergency rooms each year, and at least twenty die, as a result of go-cart injuries. Stop cart. |
GOLF
Forget about closing that nice little deal over the eighth hole. One-fourth to one-third of golfers have been injured playing the game. Common problems include lower back injuries, pinched nerves, tears of the rotator cuff, medial epicondylitis, carpal tunnel syndrome, and spinal damage. Golfers are also susceptible to skin cancers because of exposure to the sun. |
GRASS
Allergic reactions can be caused by various grasses including timothy, Bermuda, orchard, red top, and sweet vernal. Enjoy your picnic. |
GUM DISEASE
Keep flossing. People with gum disease may have a heightened risk of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease and diabetes. |
GUNS
In 1997 alone, there were 32,436 firearm-related deaths in the U.S. (which is, of course, a small price to pay for the right to shoot possums in your backyard), with 4,223 of the victims being younger than twenty years of age. In the U.S., the rate of firearm-related deaths for children under fifteen is twelve times higher than in other industrialized countries, and the overall rate of firearm-related homicide is nearly sixteen times higher. Tonight on The X-Files, Scully investigates: as we all know that guns don't kill people, what killed these people? Could it be aliens? The CIA? A rare virus? The truth is out there... |
GYMNASTICS
Among sports played by physical education students, gymnastics has the highest rate of injuries. And when you wince watching male gymnasts doing the splits, you're right: pelvic injuries suffered during gymnastics can lead to impotence in men. |
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