Cynical Activities - C
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CARRY-ON AIRLINE BAGGAGE
And the next nominee for the Elvis Award for the Least Dignified Way to Die: 4,500 people are injured in the U.S. each year when carry-on luggage falls on them from overhead bins in airplanes. |
CARS
Now that all the smokers have been rounded up and locked in a big basement in Iowa, the Surgeon General has moved on starting soon, every car in the country will come with a big warning sticker on the windshield. Here's your sneak preview: car exhaust contains chemicals that can give you heart attacks, anemia, immune system disorders, behavioral changes, impaired mental function, respiratory diseases such as asthma and bronchitis, and cancer; it also increases the rate of atopic sensitiza-tions, allergic symptoms, and diseases in children. To give an idea of the size of the problem, about twenty thousand people die every year in Austria, France, and Switzerland alone because of traffic-related air pollution, which also causes more than 290,000 episodes of bronchitis in children and more than 500,000 asthma attacks in those countries each year. Cars are also a major source of carbon dioxide, the primary gas responsible for global warming. (Yes, the Surgeon General knows it's hard to drive with a sticker that size on your windshield. That's the point.) |
CARS, NEW
You know that great new-car smell? According to researchers in Australia, it actually consists of a range of chemicals including benzene, which is carcinogenic, and various other substances that, through prolonged exposure, can cause abnormalities in your unborn children. Mmm...benzene. |
CARS, OLD
And that old-car smell isn't any better. Even in the U.S., older cars make the air dirtier; and in countries including Mexico, Nepal, India, Iran, and Egypt (to name only a few), old cars have been blamed for deadly levels of pollution, including lead in the air at concentrations up to three hundred times the maximum limit recommended by the World Health Organization. |
CATS, DARK-COLORED
Patients with allergic rhinitis who have dark-colored cats suffer more than those who have light-colored cats or no cats at all. If your evil mother-in-law has rhinitis, you know what to get her for her next birthday... |
CATS, HAVING
If you're having a baby, it's time to dump the cat. Pregnant women who clean cat boxes may be exposed to a parasite that can give their babies congenital toxoplasmosis, a condition that can require a lifetime of special care. Cats can also trigger asthma in children. |
CATS, NOT HAVING
Hang on—get the cat back! Children who aren't exposed to cats have an increased risk of asthma. (We know this completely contradicts the last entry, but that's research.) |
CELL PHONES
We know the world might collapse if you can't be reached, but we don't care: there are times when you need to turn off your cell phone. Seventy percent of cell phone calls are by people driving vehicles (probably because, what with today's TRAFFIC, people spend 70 percent of their time driving); and drivers using cell phones are four times as likely to have an accident, with the effect lasting as long as five minutes after a call has finished. According to the British Medical Association, "hands-free" car phones are as dangerous as hand-held phones. Cell phones can interfere with medical devices such as heart monitors and mechanical ventilators. They may also set off airplanes' warning systems and disrupt signals. False alarms can reduce pilots' confidence in their warning systems, as well as distract the crew, and cause fatal mistakes. |
CHARCOAL GRILLS
Those funny-looking hot dogs your brother-in-law always brings aren't the only danger at the family barbecue. In 1996, nineteen people in the U.S. died of poisoning by carbon monoxide from charcoal grills." |
CHEESES, SOFT
The spoonfuls of fat and thousands of calories may not be the only threat lurking in that Brie. The bacterium Listeria monocyto-genes can contaminate soft cheeses (even if they're refrigerated), causing flu-like symptoms. When the bacterium infects pregnant women, it can lead to miscarriages or mental and physical damage to their fetuses. |
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